How to get rid of a pink toad
by GeminiAnthos
Summary: prankster!Daphne Greengrass decides that Umbitch has to go. She is tired of everyone lumping her together with the Death Eaters when she really only wants to beat everyone in quidditch. Taking matters into her own hands, Daphne decides to use her Slytherin side to her advantage to together with the Weasley twins get rid of Umbitch. T for minor swearing
1. Break an isolation

AN; This will be a story set in Order of the Phoenix featuring Daphne Greengrass. Finally tired of Umbridge, or as she calls her, Umbitch, Daphne decides to take a page from Fred and George; she pranks Umbridge. Relentlessly. Repeatedly. Mercilessly. She pranks are meant to be funny, but there will be a minor plot. Consider that it runs parallel to the canon one, but is an unfeatured story. Possible DaphneXFred/George, pairing undecided.

Chatter. So much of it. Way too much. It didn't help that it was Malfoy speaking. My father this and my father that. Daphne put her arms on the table, avoiding the food, and her head in between her hands. She used to enjoy Malfoy's company since they both liked quidditch.

Nowadays, she has no choice but to be in his company. Slytherin was isolated from the other houses, and she could see the looks everyone threw at them. Dark looks, accusing them all of being Umbitch fans. Daphne couldn't blame them; a loud amount of the Slytherins were, and a silent majority was not. She herself was among that silent majority. The one that did not dare to speak up incase they would be isolated from their only remaining friends in Slytherin, after all any friends they had had in the other houses were gone.

Daphne wished she could break that isolation.

But how? There was Potter, Potter with is stupid scar and his stupid broomstick, like Malfoy always went on about him, whose mere existence was an opposition to Umbitch. Granger with her Ravenclaw intellect, and Weasley with his kindness. Weasley. Just like his two brothers, Fred and George. Daphne adored their pranks, and their beater style in quidditch. She wished she could play against them, but Umbitch had banned all the clubs, including quidditch. She glanced over at the Gryffindor table. They looked happy, despite what Umbitch had done, and Fred and George seemed to be the main reason for that. She wished she could be like them. Maybe she could. An idea sprang to mind as quickly as she sprung to her feet.

"Daphne, what are you doing?" Malfoy squeaked. "Wait where are you going?"

He spoke to Daphne's back. She threw a nonsensical answer over her shoulder and headed for the second floor. Following the tapestries she looked for the one with a unicorn in a ring on it. There. She moved the tapestry, and sneaked up the stairs hidden behind it, all the way up to the windowsill. She sat on the windowsill, looked out through the window showing the clock-yard. With a pensive look, she took out a black notebook from her bag and opened a fresh page. This was it.

With a decisive hand she wrote "How to get rid of a pink toad".


	2. Step 1 in action

**AN; Thank you for the kind and constructive reviews. As promised, here is chapter two. Read and relax.  
**

 _Step 1; If she can't be like you, make her cooler_

Daphne put up her hair in a ponytail. Sitting on the windowsill she got to work. This had to be perfect.

Next morning Daphne snuck out from her dorms early and went to the owlery. She had a letter to deliver. The autumn wind didn't faze her when it tangled her cloak with her legs, it didn't either when it decided to straight up smack a brown leaf in her face. Well, perhaps a bit. A tiny bit. She trotted up the dirt path to the owlery with excitement tingling in the fingers holding the letter. Entering the owlery she saw the usual floor; straw, owl droppings and skulls of mice. Fantastic. Avoiding the various offensive articles on the floor she headed for a nondescript school owl and gave it a thick, pink envelope. Grinning from cheek to cheek and humming she skipped her way down the stairs. Daphne hoped Umbitch liked mail as much as she did.

The hooting of the owls in the great hall signalled time to finish up breakfast. Well, that and mail. Crab shoved his 4th piece of toast into his mouth, and Draco shuddered slightly at the sight of it. Daphne would have too if she hadn't been too busy between poking her oatmeal and looking up at the teachers table to notice.

A school owl swopped toward the teachers table and landed in front of the pink ball of sunshine we all know. Said sunshine harshly shoved the owl away, and without a thank you sent it on its way. Too bad she didn't lose a finger, or two. Pleased with having received a pink letter, specially addressed to her, Umbitch, smirked toward her colleagues, Snape and McGonagall, in a self satisfactory manner. " Must be a parent satisfied with my teaching" she positively gloated." it is after all time for some hard measures"

Do the faces of the good teachers have to be described? No? Then let's continue the story.

Umbitch's nails forced open the envelope, only for it to in a loud pop transform into a small paper whale. Wonderful magic. Now many had turned their eyes to the teachers table. Curious, Umbitch poked it, only for the whale to _launch_ a giant amount of ice-cold water on her.

At first Umbitch wore a face of confusion, mouth wide open, but it was soon replaced by one of betrayal, and with the students' laughter, transformed into one of fury. Dripping and soaked by ice cold water she rapidly stood up.

" Cease your laughter immediately" She screeched. "NOW!"

The screeching had the opposite effects; Daphne only laughed louder, and so did the rest of the hall. Gryffindors. Slytherins. Hufflepuffs. Ravenclaws. Daphne would later think back to this moment of united laughter which had made her cheeks hurt from smiling.

"Now Dolores, cool down a bit" Dumbledore softly spoke. " There is no reason for anger"

The pink toad looked ready to throw a fit right then and there.

" WHAT DO YOU MEAN-", calming herself down, Dolores realized how unbecoming it was to scream for a _undersecretary of the ministry of magic_ so she took a deep breath and continued in a singsong voice that could have been used on an unruly three year old " There is of course reason for anger, and an investigation Dumbledore, after all an official from the ministry of magic has been attacked"

With twinkling eyes the headmaster responded, " There is not. There was no intentional attack, the whale simply like in its natural state, sprouted water from its hole. Fantastic miniature I must say. It can not be helped that you provoked it"

Lost for words Umbitch opened and closed her mouth. Then she stomped out of the dinner hall, almost cracking the tiles in her anger. When the heavy, and not so soundproof doors closed behind her laughter erupted again. The prankster could hear praise from both her and the other houses such as "good one", " I wish I had thought of that", " Did you see her face!".

Daphne smiling finished her oatmeal with great appetite.

Later in the evening Daphne found her way back to her sanctuary; her hidden windowsill. Sitting down she took out her black notebook, opened it, and checked off step one. With a smile she drew a little whale on the page. She then drew some random scribbles and patterns until she decided what step two would be. She started to write; _Step two_ ; _Give her_

Her writing was interrupted by some footsteps echoing from the top of the stairs. Throwing a glance at the clock outside she saw it was past curfew, and time to make a run for it before Filch caught her. Practically leaping down the stairs she made her escape just in time past the tapestry before the steps caught up to her.

The notebook remained behind.


	3. Show us

**Authors note; Emma Vanity was indeed a Slytherin captain, and most likely Daphne's role model :)  
**

A tragedy. A catastrophe. A-nother synonym.

How could she had been so clumsy Daphne thought while banging her head once against a classroom wall in a house-elfesque manner. This induced a pensive look from her seating companion, Malfoy, as if he had seen her behaviour somewhere before... Although where he could not remember. He supposed it was for the better and shrugged away the deja vu.

Daphne's only consolation for losing her notebook was that it was unlikely that she would be disowned by her parents when she got kicked out of Hogwarts. With a sigh that seemed to convey all the misfortunes in the world, the young-soon-to-be-suspended opened her defence against the dark arts book on page 394. With complete disinterest for the supposed "hunting habits of vampires" Daphne threw the book a glare. Perhaps she'd manage to burn the vampire picture in her book.

Exasperated by the other blonde's demeanour Draco decided to make a tentative try at fixing it. However, since Malfoy's aren't famous for their neither gentleness nor consideration, his tentative try turned out very different indeed.

" Greengrass, who put a wand up your ass" Malfoy drawled; not a question but a statement intended to reproach her behaviour.

Daphne's head whipped around at a neck breaking speed towards Malfoy. Cue another glare from her. Draco was always one to take a challenge though. He stared right back.

"The same one who put one up yours" Daphne replied evenly.

She saw Draco's eyes crinkle at the corners before he laughed, breaking the tension. Maybe he wasn't all bad she thought, even if his father was mentioned all too often.

With much more ease both of the blondes turned back to their reading.

When class ended Daphne collected her books and stuffed them in her bag as gladly as Goyle shoves food into his mouth. Almost bouncing out of the classroom, Draco was left behind to go to his own class, but they would meet up for lunch as per usual. Old habits do die hard.

Walking to the quick beat she soon would be playing in music class Daphne headed for a shortcut behind a tapestry. Unexpectedly her path was barred by two tall, and identical figures. Her heart skipped a beat. It was the Weasley twins, sporting two equally handsome smirks.

"Well if it isn't" Started one twin.

"Our favourite little Slytherin" Smoothly finished the other. " We have something of yours".

Daphne blinked. Well this was unexpected. Did they really have her heart? No Daphne stop this. No more crushes on people you can't tell apart.

"Oh yeah?" She responded intelligently.

"Indeed!" Responded the first. " Fred and I picked this thing up yesterday. We're sure it's of interest for you"

Fred produced a black notebook, waving it in front of Daphne's face like one of those pendulums used to hyponotisize you. Worked like magic. It caught her attention very well. This was it. The passport to freedom. If she could get the notebook back she would be safe.

But if the twins knew it was her... Would they not like everyone else turn against the Slytherins, and use this opportunity to hurt one of them? It was a risk she knew it. Withdrawing the hand she hadn't seen moving towards the notebook, Daphne took a step back.

"How do I know it's not some prank?" Daphne said, as if pretending she had not known the notebook was hers.

"Because we would not hurt a fellow prankster without declaring war first" George responded solemnly.

Exchanging meaningful glances with the twins, Daphne stretched hands forward to grab her notebook. Only to get it held over her head, millimetres away from her reach. Interpreting it as a challenge, Daphne returned the smirks the twins were sending her and decided to respond in kind.

Raising her wand towards Fred she spoke one incantation; " _Tarantallegra_ "

Fred's legs started to dance uncontrollably, and without needing further encouragement he dropped the notebook into Daphne's waiting arms.

Cancelling the spell with a smile on his lips George turned to Daphne and asked, "Is that all you can do?"

Knowing that George wasn't asking about the spell, but about her pranking abilities, Daphne responded with confidence;

"No, but I can do it without getting caught"

The twins spoke in unison;

" Show us"


	4. Well done dragon!

**Author's note: Hope you like the new installment! I had it done a while ago, but needed time to reread it in an objective manner, also school was being its usual self. Enjoy :)**

Looking around the corner before moving forward was not a habit of Daphne's. Then again, neither was sneaking around in the middle of the night. Or meeting up with red-heads in front of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

She stood in front of the classroom, nervously tapping her right foot, thinking ominous thoughts. "What if they don't show up? What if this is a trap? Didn't Draco once challenge Harry and Ron to a duel only to tell Filch on them? Is this revenge for their little brother?". Her stomach started forming knots.

The swooshing of a tapestry nearly stopped her heart. It had no problems making up for it by beating like crazy when she saw the twins smirk. At her. Merlin. They had shown up.

"Thought the little Slytherin wouldn't show up" Fred teased.

"Me? Don't you know Slytherin's love challenges?" Daphne quipped back.

"We'll se about that won't we?" George declared with a grin.

Sneaking into the classroom after a swift alohomora proved almost too easy. Umbitch really didn't take enough safety measures. Not that Daphne was complaining.

"Let's make some chaos boys" Daphne whispered.

Spreading out like three shadows the inter-house prankster alliance got to work.

When you see my face hope it gives you hell" Daphen sang whilst half-dancing-half walking through the crowded corridor.

"Oh stop that muggel singing, it's unbecoming" Malfoy complained.

"Not my fault the magical community doesn't have catchy songs" Daphne replied and kept on humming the song.

Draco gave up on making music fan stop, and secretly enjoyed the humming a bit. Not that he'd ever admit it, but it's nice seeing your friends happy, and the tune wasn't half bad. Especially if it was Daphne humming it. Pansy sounded awful, so if he would have to chose Daphne was better to listen to. He just hoped Daphne would have enough sense to stop humming it when they were in Madame Umbridge's classroom.

Praying Daphne would stop humming Draco entered the classroom with Daphne by his side and his lackeys right behind.

Did Malfoy really think lackeys? You can bet on it.

Comfortably seated to the left of the classroom, the side with amazing windows, Malfoy plucked out his books and prepared to have yet another uneventful lesson. Well, Potter might add his usual spice but besides that? Nothing. Maybe Malfoy could irritate Granger. "Yes, that will do" Malfoy thought. Paper bird or paper dragon?

The classroom _itself_ answered the question just as Umbridge was about to open her mouth. The dragon skeleton, flapped its wings and dived straight down from the roof. At Umbridge. Opening its giant maws, the dragon skeleton swallowed Umbridge whole. Oh did the woman scream in terror. And the Gryffindor students laughed at seeing Umbridge partly through the skeleton ribcage. The Dragon then whipped its head towards Draco and did a mini run towards him. Screaming in fright Draco dodged underneath the table to avoid the dragon. Quite pointlessly I might add. The Dragon flew past him, and straight through the window panels causing glass to fly out on the courtyard below. Taking their hollering DADA teacher with them.

Wait till Draco's father hears about this.


End file.
